Dating can be tough sometimes. It can also be a lot of work. Extroverts seem to have a easier time with dating, but us introverts may actually dread socializing with new people. It’s hard being an introvert in the dating world sometimes. How do you talk to a person when you always find yourself tongue-tied or shy in social settings? If you are looking to blossom into a more social being, there are a number of things you can do.
Get out of your head.
First things first: some people are just born introverts and will continue to be shy for their entire lives. However, there may be a level of shyness that you can control. Stop second guessing yourself and try to gain some confidence in yourself. Remind yourself about how great you are and how lucky someone would be to be with you. One characteristic of many shy people is that they focus on what others are thinking about them. Well, it’s time to stop doing that. Just do you and go show everyone what your made of.
Go out and force yourself to be in more social settings with friends. Odds are your friends are well-aware of your introvert qualities and try to push you to be a little more social. Let them! If you’re out and they see a cutie across the bar for you, bat an eyelash or gaze over at them to show interest. If they seem interested, wait for them to cover over to you and then try your best to make some good conversation, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Not every conversation with someone new will turn into something, but think of it as practice.
However, take it slow.
I’m not telling you to go out and immediately spit game to everyone you see because we all know that would never happen. Introverts should take baby steps and ease their way into being more social beings (unless you want to jump right in!). You’ve probably been an introvert for your whole life, so taking it slow may help you. Stay in your comfort zone until you think you’re ready to branch out a little bit more. Engage your circle of friends in places you frequent a lot and then try to go to new places.
Stick to what you know.
Sure, opposites attract, but in this case it may be best to stick with what you know. It may be easier for shy people to talk to people who are like-minded or who take interest in the same things. If you’re into comic books or movies or whatever, look for people to talk to in those kinds of settings. Again, take each new situation as practice. It’ll also help you gauge whether you want someone who is like you or someone a little bit different.
The right person will come along and the shyness will go out the window.
A little personal story to help showcase this: I always considered myself to be shy and awkward when talking to new guys. When I met my current boyfriend, somehow all of that went out of the window. From the second I met him, I immediately felt comfortable around him and didn’t feel anxious or awkward at all. It was like out of nowhere I became this extrovert who could just continue a conversation with someone new. I bet that moment will happen for all introverts at some point. It may take a lot of awkward situations and bad dating stories to get there, but that’s just how it goes sometimes.
Introverts have the same basic similarities, but every one of them is different. Each introvert will approach dating in their own way, so the above dating tips are meant as a basic guideline. Feel free to adapt them to suit your personality and lifestyle. Happy dating!